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Vanishing thots @ Saturday, January 19, 2008 | back to top


i actuallly woke up at 8+am today...its so amazing...usually i shld still be in my bed at dis time..until late noon..i didnt work Butter last nite..becos i wan to leave my energy for JAY..!!! yes...its his concert tonite..im so excited...!! past few days been planning wat to wear..hehe..waited so long for his concert since Wu Yu Lun Bi...

becos of his concert, i have been a good gal to eat my medication..i dun wan the cough to affect the level of enjoyment..3 more tablets to go and i will complete my course..i have never completed any medication b4...i hate it...!! moreover swallowing tablets is a HUGE toture to me...i alwaz haf dis feeling i will choke on it/them..

anyway i have sort out my thots..last nite was smsing him (=Zun)...he is firm on his decision base on the reason excuse he came up with...i tried my bez to save the r/s...the excuse is simply unacceptable and can be worked on...but he is nt willing to...
i called him twice..he doesnt wana pick up..doesnt wana meet me tonite..im behaving so much like a guy..but watever...at least i tried to work tings out..i went to bed after his no reply (again)...im tired..and im still sick..

dis morning i woke up tinking on my bed....for ard 2 hrs..? i read dis book b4, "先把猫的手套脱掉".. it mentions French Philosopher René Descartes can lie on the bed for up to 16 hrs a day becos he feels dat only by lying on the bed, den the mind will be clear...im only a quarter into the book..but i like it..alot of philosophies..sets ur mind tinkin..when im done wif it, perhaps i shall do a book review on it.. ; )

anyway...back to my thots...i decided to juz end it as he wish...in the beginning perhaps i felt wrongly...i thot i saw a combination of K & TX in him....but flashback juz let me wonder..y did i ever felt so in the first place....muz b side effects of my brain damage...

last time i had a fren...who said she wana die when her bf wanted to break up...she said she cant live w/o him..i told her deres no such ting as who cannot live w/o sum1 else...and i really believe in wat i said..
i mean..did u meet ur bf/gf from birth?..no rite..?if so , how did u manage to survive till u met him/her..? breaking up is sad..its heart pain..but it can be survived thru...

i will be alrite..i juz need abit of time...If my heart can handle abt K (=Kid) & TX (=Tian Xin) ..i can handle dis....


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